from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
