**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
