Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize