that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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