Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize