my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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