In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
