I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
