Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
