Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
