I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
