im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
