Nicole vs. Life
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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