There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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