I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
