Me. At least after what I've been through.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
