Your face is a jimmy john
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
