Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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