Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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