I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize