so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
