You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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