ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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