She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The air was thick with penises
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
