I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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