She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
