what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Who died my cat blue again?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
