This is not my ceiling
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
