You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
