My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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