does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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