Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize