kristin has been a bad kristin
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
