sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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