Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I supernannyed him into submission
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
