Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize