1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
