Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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