Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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