So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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