I heard we made out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers