I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
she pinky promised me she was 18
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.