I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis