Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
