ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
