You work out of a Hotel?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
