its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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