I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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