You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
