I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
