as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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