she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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