i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
