Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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