so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
