worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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