you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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