life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize