What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize