dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
