just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
