We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
